Once
upon a time, I had an incredible bout of writer’s block. I will try to
pretend that it wasn’t more than a ten year struggle that just recently
ended last November. During this time, I was unable to extract the
bountiful creations swimming around in my mind. I would think about
writing, my writing, all the time. Characters, plots, dialog, etc etc.
It was quite maddening; not being able to bring to life my imagination
in some tangible fashion.
I need your help
But you give me none
Life overwhelms me
And it’s not very fun
I call out your name
But you don’t hear me
Or don’t you listen
Anymore
I am stuck here
Or can’t you see?
I’m stuck in this rut
With nowhere to go
Help me
I’m sinking deeper down
To my death
Within this land
Within this quicksand
You were my everything
My dove
You were the only part of life
That I loved
Help me
I’m sinking deeper down
To my death
Give me your hand
Within this quicksand
You left me
But I still love you now
Even though you can’t seem
To return the vow
Help me
Take my hand
I’ll pull you deeper down
Within this land
Within this quicksand
Quicksand
She sits alone
In her room, in the dark
Praying for a change
She wants to
Get away from this life
But she’s too scared to move
She has a dream
That she thinks she can’t reach
That can’t come true
So she dances
Because it sets her free
It sets her free
Keep on dancin’ girl
Cause I know the truth, the truth about you
You hate the world and want to escape
Keep on dancin’ girl
Cause I know the truth, the truth about you
You pray for the pain to fade
He wishes
That he was somebody else
Someone with fame
He wants to
Make so much more of this life
But he can’t seem to move
He needs to
Find out the reasons why
He’s misunderstood
He smiles
Pretending it’s all okay
Everything’s okay
Keep on smilin’ boy
Cause I know the truth, the truth about you
You hate the world and want to escape
Keep on smilin’ boy
Cause I know the truth, the truth about you
You pray for the pain to fade
Keep on dacin’ girl
Keep on smilin’ boy
Someday your pain will fade
Keep on smilin’ boy
Keep on dancin’ girl
Someday your pain will fade
Sometimes the weight of us is enough to hold us down
Sometimes the weight of us is enough to make us drown
Where has the time gone?
I swear I was a boy just the other day
And where do I go from here?
The future, it scares the shit out of me
And is there love?
Is there someone out there waiting for me?
I thought that I had found this once
But I was wrong and that ended up just a dream
Pre-Chorus
And are the Angel’s above looking down?
Are they laughing, or are they crying for my tragedies?
Should I even worry about what all the others think?
Should I worry?
I can’t worry
I can’t help but worry
Chorus
Will I always be the last one to understand the joke?
Will I always be the only one left standing out in the cold?
When will it be my time, my time to be happy?
You just sit there and stare and all you can say to me is: don’t worry
And where have my walls gone?
I swear I was safe just the other day
And how do I get out of here?
Vulnerabilities scare the shit out of me
And can I believe
In such things as my happy ending?
I hope that I can find this once
Cause if not all of this may have no meaning
Pre-Chorus/Chorus
Break One
Try two days in my shoes
And see if you feel the same
Try two days in my shoes
And see if you can still say
Don't worry
Break Two
Are the angels above looking down?
Are they laughing?
Are the angels above looking down?
Are they crying for my tragedies?
Chorus
To those who say writer’s block is a myth, I say: Piss off.
Sure,
I can sign on to the various psychological barriers that are
self-induced and causes one to be unable to be creatively productive. I
get that. Those claiming it is an excuse to be lazy, or that it’s a sign
your creative product is shit: Piss-right the fuck-off.
I'm sure I should read the books claiming the latter (and I will eventually)
before letting it get me all worked up, but it just comes off to me
like a - newly prescribed - jumping on the bandwagon scenario. Perhaps I
will sing a different tune once researching more.
I am getting sidetracked, though.
I
wanted to point out that, while enduring this block, I was somehow
still able to create on a very minor level. Essentially I would write
song lyrics (this may seem to contradict my claim of being blocked but... it doesn't to me). I'm not exactly sure why that was. Perhaps because music is
such a central force in my life? Because I constantly am making up songs
throughout the day? I make up songs about the most random, mundane
events. Think Marshall, from How I Met Your Mother. It used to irritate
my ex, and does others in general. Someday someone will appreciate it!
So,
I thought I would share some of the various songs (lyrics) I wrote over
the years. Does the fact I got them out past the writer’s block mean
they're not crap? Not at all. They do, however, hold different levels
of importance and nostalgia with me. This will be just a sampling, but I
will likely offer more as time goes on. I’ve never been good at writing
poetry, but I’ve always considered these creations to be on that level.
The poetry of my soul.
Some are fun, some are vulgar, some are emotional, but all coming from somewhere within.
Perhaps someone will enjoy one themselves.
The Beginning is the End is the Beginning
We'll start with the first song lyrics I believe I ever wrote (or at
least documented). This would be in the mid-1990s. I remember trying to
get a friend to write up some music for it, but it never came to
fruition. Creative differences? Ha! Gotta love high school.
-QUICKSAND-
I need your help
But you give me none
Life overwhelms me
And it’s not very fun
I call out your name
But you don’t hear me
Or don’t you listen
Anymore
I am stuck here
Or can’t you see?
I’m stuck in this rut
With nowhere to go
Help me
I’m sinking deeper down
To my death
Within this land
Within this quicksand
You were my everything
My dove
You were the only part of life
That I loved
Help me
I’m sinking deeper down
To my death
Give me your hand
Within this quicksand
You left me
But I still love you now
Even though you can’t seem
To return the vow
Help me
Take my hand
I’ll pull you deeper down
Within this land
Within this quicksand
Quicksand
* * *
-THE WEIGHT OF US-
She sits alone
In her room, in the dark
Praying for a change
She wants to
Get away from this life
But she’s too scared to move
She has a dream
That she thinks she can’t reach
That can’t come true
So she dances
Because it sets her free
It sets her free
Keep on dancin’ girl
Cause I know the truth, the truth about you
You hate the world and want to escape
Keep on dancin’ girl
Cause I know the truth, the truth about you
You pray for the pain to fade
He wishes
That he was somebody else
Someone with fame
He wants to
Make so much more of this life
But he can’t seem to move
He needs to
Find out the reasons why
He’s misunderstood
He smiles
Pretending it’s all okay
Everything’s okay
Keep on smilin’ boy
Cause I know the truth, the truth about you
You hate the world and want to escape
Keep on smilin’ boy
Cause I know the truth, the truth about you
You pray for the pain to fade
Keep on dacin’ girl
Keep on smilin’ boy
Someday your pain will fade
Keep on smilin’ boy
Keep on dancin’ girl
Someday your pain will fade
Sometimes the weight of us is enough to hold us down
Sometimes the weight of us is enough to make us drown
* * *
-WORRY-
Where has the time gone?
I swear I was a boy just the other day
And where do I go from here?
The future, it scares the shit out of me
And is there love?
Is there someone out there waiting for me?
I thought that I had found this once
But I was wrong and that ended up just a dream
Pre-Chorus
And are the Angel’s above looking down?
Are they laughing, or are they crying for my tragedies?
Should I even worry about what all the others think?
Should I worry?
I can’t worry
I can’t help but worry
Chorus
Will I always be the last one to understand the joke?
Will I always be the only one left standing out in the cold?
When will it be my time, my time to be happy?
You just sit there and stare and all you can say to me is: don’t worry
And where have my walls gone?
I swear I was safe just the other day
And how do I get out of here?
Vulnerabilities scare the shit out of me
And can I believe
In such things as my happy ending?
I hope that I can find this once
Cause if not all of this may have no meaning
Pre-Chorus/Chorus
Break One
Try two days in my shoes
And see if you feel the same
Try two days in my shoes
And see if you can still say
Don't worry
Break Two
Are the angels above looking down?
Are they laughing?
Are the angels above looking down?
Are they crying for my tragedies?
Chorus
* * *
The End is the Beginning is the End
Three
should suffice. And it seems I left out the more “fun” songs this time
around. I think these were some of my more emotional creations;
especially the final song Worry, which remains one of my favorites.
As I said, I may share more as time goes on. If not, I am glad to at least have these three up.
Technically
I create new songs almost daily, but rarely do I ever write them down,
which is a shame. Even if they aren’t the best out there, they are still
creations I am missing the opportunity to work with. The ones that keep
coming back over time are the ones I eventually document. I figure,
they must be coming back for a reason. Makes sense right?
Until next time, try to be more mindful to the poetry of your own soul. What you find may surprise you.
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It’s been a long while. I briefly discuss some of this year’s shortcomings, and in doing so, find it’s just more of the same.
Then I attempt to give a more positive spin…
Extra Life Game Day 2021 has arrived! It’s Year 8 for myself and I am looking forward to once again raise money for Gillette Children’s Specialty Healthcare. Team Cryton Crusaders is ready (kind of) for the annual fundraising event involving a 24-Hour Gaming Marathon! I kept last year’s fun, but likely impossible Milestone to reach!
Learn more about the challenge where my team and I play games and heal kids!