BEDiM 2013 : DAY 17 & DAY 18

(A Blog Every Day in May 2013 Challenge Entry)

GAH! My personal challenge of not missing a day of posting has come to an end. Devastation! While the majority would barely bat a lash at this, it leaves me feeling a bit sad. I thought of multiple reasons I could claim lead to this plight. While it wasn’t the best of days, nothing in particular played any major role other than my sleep deprivation.

I went to take an hour nap, and an hour nap turned into a five hour nap. Slept through my alarm and everything. It may be a bad sign that when I woke up I frantically checked the time specifically to know if it was past midnight and if I missed a blog post. I may be addicted! It was a personal goal, though, to make each and every day, just as it was during the A to Z Challenge in April.

So remain calm! I am still here! I’m sure many of you went into a frenzied panic and called in Missing Persons reports, but all is well! My grandmother often says it’s good we aren’t the drinking sort, or we’d be drunk all the time. Had I been the drinking sort, waking up at 1am discovering I was late for a blog entry would have caused me to hit the bottle and spiral down into a pit of self-loathing. Okay, that may be an exaggeration...

I will try to bust out two day’s worth of the BEDiM Challenge today.

Yesterday’s prompt:

Day 17, Friday: A favorite photo of yourself and why.

Man, this lady loves taking photos... I think she even states that, but I just don’t take them. This factor is making this challenge all the harder! If I were the drinkin’ sort...

Bad to the Bone
Is that the fateful fridge?
Born to be Wild
These aren’t my favorite pictures, but I like them a lot. I don’t believe I actually have a favorite. Oh SNAP I do! I will share that one also if I still have it.

Anyhow, look how badass I am. By this time in my life I’ve already smoked a cig, ate a feast of pot brownies, possibly tripped on acid, likely pimp-slapped a bitch or three, and possibly created a lovechild or two. It’s all really hard to say. If you’ve been following along you know which of the grouping are true. Point is, I was set to walk the path of a badass.

That’s me with my Uncle Joe, and I have no recollection of this whatsoever. I blame the pot brownies. Actually, I blame the pot brownies for all my lost childhood memories!

DAMN YOU CHOCOLATEY DELICIOUSLY DEVIOUS POT BROWNIES of FORGETFULNESS!

Lucky I’m not the drinking sort...

So, it seems apparent to me that it was my lot in life to become a badass. A life of tattoos, motorcycles, bar fights, drugs, alcohol and all other devilish shenanigans. My course was set. Then something must have happened, because I turned out almost the exact opposite.

I turned into this:
Circa 2000 Hood Down -The Fav I spoke of-
Circa 2013 Hood Up

Look at that Emo scrub. So much lost potential. I think I forgot what I was meant to be and ended up there (and ultimately here, where I am now). I really like this picture, and in fact, I still own that hoodie. A hoodie many shunned and tried to make me forsake and destroy! This was likely due to the condition it eventually came to be in over the years. Mainly the left sleeve being almost completely split open. But I showed ALL of them! Not only did it serve as my jacket for years in that condition (even shoveling through harsh winters), but I recently had it repaired and it’s now in tip-top shape. Well, minus a hole or three.

I guess I don’t love this picture... I just love my damn hoodie.

Maybe someday I will be able to tap into that lost reserve of Badass Power buried deep in my soul and unleash it into the world. Then again, that may not be a good thing.

Let’s move on to today’s prompt:

Day 18, Saturday: Tell a story from your childhood. Dig deep and try to be descriptive about what you remember and how you felt.

Of.Fucken.Course.

You’re killin’ me lady.

A False LOST  Memory

Hmm... something smells good — chocolatey — I wonder what it could be.

*Presses face to stove window*

I seeeeeeee you... whatever you are. You will be mine.

*Unknown lapse of time...*

Finally they are done! That took forever! Oh goodie, it looks like brownies! That’s it parental units... take the baked goods and share them with your child. I demand it! Yes, yes... cut them up and make them look pretty. Not that it matters, but I do rather like perfectly square-cut brownies, even if  they come out the backend all the same.

Gimmie, gimmie, gimmie... don’t you see my arms reaching up, hands open, demanding to be satisfied by the warm, gooey sensation of a freshly baked brownie? What... What is this? What do you mean they aren’t for me? Who the bloody hell could they be for? Do you seriously plan to eat ALL the things and starve your firstborn son?! This is an outrage!

Of course I’m crying! Why wouldn’t I? You are denying me ALL the things! I need them! What is this?! Where are you taking me? Put me down this instant! Give me a brownie for fucksakes!

Sure... I’ll stay on the couch and starve while you go do your feasting without me.

*Sneaks to kitchen entryway*

I see, you plan to save them and eat them later. All by yourselves, without me, while I sleep. Well, we will see abo... what? What are you doing? Why are you putting them up on the fridge?! This is madness! How am I supposed to... How the hell can I...

*Scurries to the fridge after parents leave the kitchen and gazes up*

I seeeeeeee you... my precious brownies. You will be mine.

*Unknown lapse of time*

If I pull out these drawers I think I should be able to climb up to...

*Unknown lapse of time. Sitting on counter; hands and face smeared with chocolate*

OM NOM NOM NOM! ALL the brownies are mine! I control ALL the things! I will eat ALL the things!

Oh my nuts, these are amazing! Holy Fucken Tiddlywinks!

NOM NOM NOM!

What’s that? Is someone coming?

*Pauses and listens*

OM NOM NOM! They can’t steal my brownies, they are mine! ALL MINE! Why am I shaking? Am vibrating with power?

Muahahahahahahaha!

I am Master of the Universe! I WILL EAT ALL THE THI...

*Blackout*

Do you have a favorite picture of yourself? Yeah, I’m not touching that second section ;-)