A to Z 2014 : HESITATION MARKS

(An A to Z 2014 Challenge Entry)

I’ve noticed in the miniscule time that I have been blogging that sometimes I get ideas for topics I feel a strong urge to talk about, but feel I lack the confidence of portraying said ideas accurately. That or they are controversial, and I want to refrain from pissing matches being engaged in the comments. I would hate if people, specifically blogger friends already connected with one another, came to hard feelings over these possible arguments.

On the other hand, if individuals aren’t able to be civil and respectful of one another’s thoughts and opinions, there isn’t a whole lot anyone can do about that. I shouldn’t (nor should you, as I’ve noted others speaking about similar hesitation over topics they wish to talk about) allow the behavior of others to dictate what it is I have the right to express.

Other times, I straight up chicken out. These are usually deeper, more personal topics, that cause me anxiety to even think about, let alone share with others. This is what happened back in my A to Z 2013 : DEMONS post. One of the final subjects of the topic was meant to be discussed later in the challenge. It never was. I’m not even going to claim I will get to it this year. I know better than that.

I’m just glad to be writing. Sure as shit, I had reservations about starting the blog back up after my hiatus. Still do. I’m already beginning to post later and later, becoming distracted by random things, falling behind on blog hopping.

The more prominent it all gets, the more I give pause. The more I give pause, the more opportunity I allow my self-confidence to fall victim to doubt. If my self-confidence falls victim to doubt, it leaves a mark.

Just how deep depends on my ability to accept the inevitable.

What happens, happens. And sometimes you are left with scars as reminders.

Have you ever refrained from posting/talking about a topic you are passionate about due to possible controversy? Due to lacking confidence of portraying it? Have you ever avoided a topic, being too afraid and/or unable to face whatever that subject may be?