Entry 17

After the A to Z 2013 and Blog Every Day In May 2013 Challenges I decided to take some time off. It’s been a week and in that time I’ve focused on getting back into an exercise routine, caught up on some work, contemplated my fiction (though not writing any), and debated where to touch base with my next — this — entry. Also, I’ve been catching up with fellow bloggers and have only completed the task with 2 ½ people out of 12+ I need to learn how to stay on track and read faster...

If you’ve been following along for a while you’ll likely be familiar with the fact that I sometimes have random bouts of emotional bursts. I won’t point out the specific posts this time around, but if wanting to you can inquire and I will share the needed links. A similar outburst occurred last weekend while listening to music; more specifically watching a music video. I meant to write this post right away, in the moment of it all, but I’m a master procrastinator.

Triggered By Turtles

The video above is the one that triggered the emotional reaction out of the blue. There I was... minding my own business, just discovering that a band I’ve heard a good amount of hype about — Trampled By Turtles — was actually a local band, checking out one of their videos for the first time and...

*THWACK*

I was bitch-slapped in the Deep Limbic System and began crying like a little baby. Trampled By Turtles had violated me emotionally and I never saw it coming. Nor did I have a say, apparently, in the situation. Blindsided, my cup filled up and runneth over with tears. I’m not embarrassed about crying; I think its a healthy release that we should experience when needed. I was more upset that I wasn’t exactly sure why it was happening.

I began thinking of past relationships and just life in general, as I went to curl up in the fetal position in bed. Okay, not quite, but I may as well have. I was bombarded with thoughts of not having accomplished anything significant in life, not having a family (paired with the exact opposite thoughts of not being prepared/ready for, or even desiring, one right now), believing it was time to stop pretending I can make any sort of living writing; buying/selling gaming cards; or any other “hobby” endeavor, and what exactly I planned to do in the long-term in regards with my life. It was all rather depressing really.

To that I say both Fuck You! Trampled By Turtles and also... Thank you! It’s a real mixed bag-o-crazy over here sometimes in the deep recesses of my mind.

There were more thoughts and emotions all intertwined with the ordeal, but having a week pass did a number on my memories associated with it. In fact, being the genius that I am, I decided to once again subject my mind to TBT’s emotional abuse in order to channel some of the same triggered reactions.

Yeah... I cried again ya bastards... don’t judge! At least I didn’t go run off and hide in my room for hours, though! So in your face!

Did I learn anything? Any lesson? Come to have an epiphany? Not really. Eventually the charged feelings subsided and I leveled out. Of course I’m going to make millions writing and indulging in my other extracurricular, hobbitastic activities!

Some people never learn...

10 Things of Thankful

As I was catching up with fellow blogger entries this week, One (A Fly On Our Chicken Coop Wall) posted about a blog hop a friend of theirs set up. I fought with myself for a while and eventually decided to join in on the fun, thinking originally it was a daily thing. Thankfully it’s only a weekly entry. I apologize for not having this posted a few days ago as planned, thinking some others may like to join in. I’d imagine you can join in at any time.

The hop occurs on Saturdays and involves listing ten things you are currently thankful for in your life. This is in encouragement of embracing and sharing some good ‘ol positive vibes. If participating, I believe they ask that you visit the two people before (or after, or around) your placement on the link list and that you use their banner/badge, which I’ve used above.

Be warned, however, I’m lacking some of the information like where to specifically list your link. There are multiple locations to submit your entry’s link, so I have a little research to do. I may be all over the place at the start, but should be fine once I understand the details more fully.

Without further ado... my listing of things I am thankful for:

  1. I’m thankful that this blog hop is only weekly (as explained above) and not daily. Part of my debate with participating revolved around the fact that I think I may be too pessimistic to come up with 10 things a day. Sad, I know, but honest! This should be more doable...
  2. *Two Hours Later in Spongebob style* My newly made friends during NaNoWriMo and fellow bloggers met since I began this blog; most during the A to Z Challenge.
  3. The patience of my fellow bloggers as I barrel through and catch up with their past (and current) posts. I’m at about a 15% completion rate!
  4. Music that can trigger my emotions and make me think, regardless if negative or positive. To be able to feel the vast range of emotions on the spectrum is truly a gift, in my opinion.
  5. Hopefully this isn’t cheating... but having that full spectrum of emotions!
  6. The clown my grandmother (in AZ) made when I was a child I still have dangling from my lamp. Clowns in general creep me out; even this crocheted representation she painstakingly created back in the day. During the emotional burst last weekend I eventually trudged out to the living room, leaned back against the wall, and dramatically slide down into a sitting position. When the Emo attack was letting up I looked up and saw the crafted clown smiling over at me. this in turn made me smile and laugh. Then daily life resumed as normal.
  7. For the hobbies that I partake in that randomly spawn ambitious dreams and fuel my creativity. Now if only my motivation would catch up to speed...
  8. My friends and family who share along in and/or support the above endeavors. There are plenty out there who would rather scoff and ridicule such things, but those types of people are very few and far in between in my life.
  9. My cat Crooks who is always there to help comfort me in my times of need... when he deems it fitting... *sigh*
  10. My grandmother (in MN) who is actually always there to help comfort me in my times of need; loving unconditionally.

Have you heard of Trampled By Turtles? Do you have a specific song or artist that can trigger some powerful emotions within you? Anything you are currently thankful for in your life?