BEDiM 2013 : DAY 3

(A Blog Every Day in May 2013 Challenge Entry)

Alright! This prompt doesn’t feel like it will be overly difficult or intimidating. I still should be getting these out a lot earlier than I have been. Cutting it close to midnight every time is for the birds! Owls to be more precise. This has been a crazy, hectic week. With work, A to Z wrapping up (and STILL catching up on blogs and comments), and cleaning/rearranging my apartment it’s been exhausting. Yet, I jump right back into the fire with the Blog Every Day in May Challenge. My wiring must be off.

So today’s prompt seems simple enough...

Day 3, Friday: Things that make you uncomfortable.

Considering I have Social Anxiety, I think I can cover this one. This is because most anything outside of the house (and routine) has the potential to make me feel uncomfortable; mostly situations dealing with crowds or strangers. Many of my friends believe this is a figment of my imagination, because when hanging out I can be very outgoing.

I describe this as being an Extroverted Introvert. When in the right situation (usually among friends/family) I feel very comfortable and, in turn, am very outgoing — sometimes annoyingly so. When in a larger group, or around strangers, not so much.

So these are some situations that make me uncomfortable — whether with close friends or not — in my daily life to life and/or social interactions.

Wanna Go to the Bar?

This is kind of the pinnacle of my anxiety. Tons of people and noise. I’ve never been one to handle things at a loud volume that didn’t involve music, and sometimes even then (naturally dictated by my taste in music). I don’t like loud voices, laughs, yelling, etc etc. Sometimes, within fun situations, I am not bothered by them. These factors can make or break who I date, as much as who I hang out with. All depends on the individuals I suppose.

The crowd factor I’ve been working on for some time. I’m way better than it used to be. I used to always believe people were thinking badly about me. “Oh god, look at this guy. Why does he dress like that?” “Yeah, I could steal his girlfriend away from him. No problem.” You get the idea. Finally, after a lot of... training myself?... I came to accept that no one was talking/thinking trash about me. Most people are too involved in their own lives to bother caring about those outside their own.

I still tend to avoid bars and/or parties unless I am with a group of people I am already comfortable with.

Check Out This Guy

Falling in line with the above, is when people of a group I am hanging out with feel the need to make fun of someone outside of the group. I understand sometimes someone walks into a place wearing this/that and you may share a comment (this makes me wonder if my fear above isn’t justified). Or, sometimes I ad-lib what is happening between a group of people.

Sometimes, though, people can go a bit far with it. Like being loud and calling attention to themselves where the individual they are mocking can hear. I believe they mock loudly just so said individual can hear. We have all experienced this, whether doing it ourselves or witnessing someone — of your group or others — engaging this type of behavior. Sometimes we laugh, at the expense of the poor individual being mocked.

This tends to happen more during the school years. As an adult, I don’t find it very humorous anymore. Maybe having suffered so much from my anxiety worrying about people doing/thinking the same of me, or just “growing up” I’ve come to have a great distaste for it. It can hurt feelings to an extent you’ve no idea, and for what purpose? Garnishing a laugh? I don’t mind — in fact, I love — teasing among friends; sarcasm, ribbing, vulgarity. When it comes at someone’s expense outside of the group, though, I become very uncomfortable.

I suppose it doesn’t matter in which fashion it’s done, discretely or openly, it still perpetuates negativity.

Take a Picture, It Will Last Longer

Staring. This can really creep me out. I don’t care if you are male or female (Or kid — Yeah, I will Me, Myself, & Irene you, punk! Okay, maybe not). I view staring as rude. I just grew up being taught that. Flirty little glances? Go crazy! Dead on, prolonged staring? Go back to Crazy Town!

You Have Really Nice Eyes
Uh... thanks?

Compliments — giving and receiving — can really make me uncomfortable. A lot of times I want to give compliments, but refrain. This is two-fold. One, I don’t want to be someone always dishing out a compliment (though, some women seem to eat it up) like I feel some men do to butter someone up for personal gain. Secondly, what if it is taken badly? What will she think if I say this? What if she thinks I’m stupid? What if it makes her not like me anymore? (I use her a lot, but the same with complementing men applies).

Recently, I gave one of the hardest, most heartfelt, compliments I’ve given someone in a long time. It was supposedly greatly appreciated, but was met with silence for weeks thereafter. Talk about a confidence booster!

As for receiving them, it just revolves around the whole self-reflection/self-love thing. That insecurity always trudging into the path of accepting kindness and love. Not necessarily of accepting it, but believing it (wait, is there a difference?). I never really know what to say. Rarely do I say anything back in return, but “Thank you.” Sometimes I am too uncomfortable to do even that.

Ah well, it can lead to awkward situations, which increases how uncomfortable everyone involved may become.

Do you, or anyone you know, suffer from anxiety? Have you experienced any of the above situations and found them to be uncomfortable? Ever given a compliment only to have it backfire? What makes you uncomfortable?