(A Blog Every Day in May 2013 Challenge Entry)
Alright!
This prompt doesn’t feel like it will be overly difficult or
intimidating. I still should be getting these out a lot earlier than I
have been. Cutting it close to midnight every time is for the birds!
Owls to be more precise. This has been a crazy, hectic week. With work, A
to Z wrapping up (and STILL catching up on blogs and comments), and
cleaning/rearranging my apartment it’s been exhausting. Yet, I jump
right back into the fire with the Blog Every Day in May Challenge. My
wiring must be off.
So today’s prompt seems simple enough...
Day 3, Friday: Things that make you uncomfortable.
Considering
I have Social Anxiety, I think I can cover this one. This is because
most anything outside of the house (and routine) has the potential to
make me feel uncomfortable; mostly situations dealing with crowds or
strangers. Many of my friends believe this is a figment of my
imagination, because when hanging out I can be very outgoing.
I
describe this as being an Extroverted Introvert. When in the right
situation (usually among friends/family) I feel very comfortable and, in
turn, am very outgoing — sometimes annoyingly so. When in a larger
group, or around strangers, not so much.
So
these are some situations that make me uncomfortable — whether with
close friends or not — in my daily life to life and/or social
interactions.
Wanna Go to the Bar?
This
is kind of the pinnacle of my anxiety. Tons of people and noise. I’ve
never been one to handle things at a loud volume that didn’t involve
music, and sometimes even then (naturally dictated by my taste in
music). I don’t like loud voices, laughs, yelling, etc etc. Sometimes,
within fun situations, I am not bothered by them. These factors can make or break who I date, as much as who I hang out with. All depends on the
individuals I suppose.
The
crowd factor I’ve been working on for some time. I’m way better than it
used to be. I used to always believe people were thinking badly about
me. “Oh god, look at this guy. Why does he dress like that?” “Yeah, I
could steal his girlfriend away from him. No problem.” You get the idea.
Finally, after a lot of... training myself?... I came to accept that no
one was talking/thinking trash about me. Most people are too involved
in their own lives to bother caring about those outside their own.
I still tend to avoid bars and/or parties unless I am with a group of people I am already comfortable with.
Check Out This Guy
Falling
in line with the above, is when people of a group I am hanging out with
feel the need to make fun of someone outside of the group. I understand
sometimes someone walks into a place wearing this/that and you may
share a comment (this makes me wonder if my fear above isn’t justified).
Or, sometimes I ad-lib what is happening between a group of people.
Sometimes,
though, people can go a bit far with it. Like being loud and calling
attention to themselves where the individual they are mocking can hear. I
believe they mock loudly just so said individual can
hear. We have all experienced this, whether doing it ourselves or
witnessing someone — of your group or others — engaging this type of
behavior. Sometimes we laugh, at the expense of the poor individual
being mocked.
This
tends to happen more during the school years. As an adult, I don’t find
it very humorous anymore. Maybe having suffered so much from my anxiety
worrying about people doing/thinking the same of me, or just “growing
up” I’ve come to have a great distaste for it. It can hurt feelings to
an extent you’ve no idea, and for what purpose? Garnishing a laugh? I
don’t mind — in fact, I love — teasing among friends; sarcasm, ribbing, vulgarity. When it comes at someone’s expense outside of the group,
though, I become very uncomfortable.
I suppose it doesn’t matter in which fashion it’s done, discretely or openly, it still perpetuates negativity.
Take a Picture, It Will Last Longer
Staring. This can really creep me out. I don’t care if you are male or female (Or kid — Yeah, I will Me, Myself, & Irene
you, punk! Okay, maybe not). I view staring as rude. I just grew up
being taught that. Flirty little glances? Go crazy! Dead on, prolonged
staring? Go back to Crazy Town!
You Have Really Nice Eyes
Uh... thanks?
Compliments
— giving and receiving — can really make me uncomfortable. A lot of
times I want to give compliments, but refrain. This is two-fold. One, I
don’t want to be someone always dishing out a compliment (though, some
women seem to eat it up) like I feel some men do to butter someone up
for personal gain. Secondly, what if it is taken badly? What will she
think if I say this? What if she thinks I’m stupid? What if it makes her
not like me anymore? (I use her a lot, but the same with complementing men applies).
Recently,
I gave one of the hardest, most heartfelt, compliments I’ve given
someone in a long time. It was supposedly greatly appreciated, but was
met with silence for weeks thereafter. Talk about a confidence
booster!
As
for receiving them, it just revolves around the whole
self-reflection/self-love thing. That insecurity always trudging into
the path of accepting kindness and love. Not necessarily of accepting
it, but believing it (wait, is there a difference?). I never really know
what to say. Rarely do I say anything back in return, but “Thank you.”
Sometimes I am too uncomfortable to do even that.
Ah well, it can lead to awkward situations, which increases how uncomfortable everyone involved may become.
Do
you, or anyone you know, suffer from anxiety? Have you experienced any
of the above situations and found them to be uncomfortable? Ever given a
compliment only to have it backfire? What makes you uncomfortable?
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