(A Blog Every Day in May 2013 Challenge Entry)

Ah, fresh off a list of incredible life lessons learned outside the classroom, and I feel hot to trot; on top of the world. I really liked writing that post. I began on a serious note, and had more serious lessons lined up, but then I just slipped right into the absurd. It felt great. I feel great! Nothing can bring me down!

Today’s prompt:

Day 24, Friday: Your top 3 worst traits.

Fuck me...

The Worst of Me

This lady is seriously killing me. The demand for so many pictures and the bipolar up and down — back and forth — of positive to negative topics.

This topic is kind of loaded, because there is potentially so much about myself I could view in a negative light. I may need a little help from my friends...

1. I live in a state of Denial (Which allows me to live in a state of Awesomeness).

Thanks “friends” for your contribution... seriously. I live in a state of denial. I placed the additional part to spruce it up some. Perhaps I can work this short list backwards, the opposite of yesterdays list. From funny to serious.

Where to touch on this, I’m not sure. I feel it could be true in some sense. I think we all live in some state of denial in one way or another.

Perhaps thinking that I’m not Diabetic, when in fact — after months/years of neglecting my health — it is very possible that I am. I feel this is a good example. Even with my newly acquired workout regimen, it is likely my bad habits have already done their dirty work; damage done. I can feel the damage. And how do I deal with these factors? I ignore them. I avoid doctors. I refuse medication.

I honestly believe I got this, yet simultaneously feel I am doomed. It’s pretty nifty. Guess I feel being I overcame it once before, I can again. But what if I squandered too much time after I stopped maintaining my health?

Hence believing damage done.

2. I allow my Social Anxiety power over myself.

I’ve already touched on this subject a handful of times. My social anxiety interferes with most facets of my life. Family, friends, work, business, pleasure; it knows no bounds. If any situation is new and unfamiliar, my SA rears it’s ugly face and takes over.

I have made fairly decent progress over the years, but it still seems to be a consistent issue. Once it’s overcome, I feel my life will change drastically. Mostly for the better. In an odd way, I do think it keeps me from engaging in less than favorable activities. An odd counterbalance of sorts.

3. I am a Coward.

Not sure I know exactly how to explain this, and I can’t recall if I’ve brought it up before. During my spiritual journey of self-discovery, I felt I uncovered a handful of lessons I was to learn in life. One was being more forgiving/learning forgiveness. Not just learning it, but managing and balancing it. The balancing aspect is an ongoing endeavor.

Stating I am a Coward doesn’t exactly seem a lesson, but perhaps finding Courage would be more accurate? Again, I’m not sure how to articulate it, but I felt like it was something I had to overcome.

I feel there are many times in my life I’ve failed to act, whether to help someone or help myself. When I think of Cowardice, though, I feel it revolves more along the lines of helping others. I see someone in trouble, or know someone is in a bad place, and I just ignore it. This isn’t just on a stranger level, but with people I know personally, if not intimately.

This may have a role to play in the White Knight Syndrome. The desire to help people, even when most times you can’t technically “save” them, especially from themselves. There are some specific instances that may have induced trauma, which also factor into my belief that this is a trait I have and must overcome.

I’ve struggled with this, internally, for some time. There are certainly instances where I have been courageous, times I’ve helped someone (both stranger and loved one), but there are some situations that seize me. I become semi-petrified in a Fear-Locke (I am spelling Locke that way due to my love of LOST). When this happens I can’t move. I want to, but I become so afraid that I can’t do anything. My mind races, and the urge to act surges, and I just... sit there; immobile. It is frustrating and maddening. Soon I fall into a state of... ambivalence? Indifference? Where I just ignore the situation/occurrence, only to be later haunted by my inaction and “what if” scenarios.

I would have to touch on that more specifically as it’s own topic to flesh it out more, but hopefully it gives a small glimpse into what I mean when calling myself a Coward.

So kudos to this Jennifer host for really knowing how to fuck with your head during this challenge Kudos indeed.

Any thoughts or feelings about my listed traits? Do you have any undesirable traits you’d like to share? Misery loves company...
(A Blog Every Day in May 2013 Challenge Entry)

Alright, no cheating tonight. Nothing but genuine time and effort on tonight’s entry. Let’s hope it isn’t a doozy.

Today prompt:

Day 23, Thursday: Things you've learned that school won't teach you.

Hmm... interesting. This could take some time to contemplate. So many lessons, but did I ever learn any of them?

Life Lessons

#1: Keep your dick in your pants.

This was offered to me, right off the bat, from a friend sitting across from me after I told her what the challenge prompt was. I politely told her that I believe they very much so taught that at school. So we need a new starting lesson.

New #1: You can’t always get what you want.

I learned this early in life, and it wasn’t specifically taught in school. I’m sure in it’s infancy it revolved around toys and food. Though, I’ve found if dedicated/determined enough, you can get a batch of pot brownies even if it’s placed out of reach on top of the fridge. I guess this is usually associated with materialistic things, but could include metaphysical desires like love of specific people.

The Rolling Stones do a decent rendition on the topic, and I will — forever more — associate the song with the opening to the pilot of Californication. If you don’t mind vulgarity and sex, I highly recommend it. David Duchovny is splendid.

#2: It‘s okay to kill someone as long as they are a bad person.

I will credit this lesson to Dexter*. It’s important to be 100% positive, and it’s equally important (at least up to Season 3 where I am currently at) that you follow the specific Code of Harry. I’m squeamish when it comes to blood, but it's nice to know if it came down to it, I can right the wrongs of others. As long as I keep it a secret and... well... I suppose working for the police would help.

#3: Always make sure a woman isn’t a Cylon before sleeping with them.

Thanks BSG* (Battlestar Galactica)! Actually, come to think of it, I may not care Cylon or not... *shrugs* Don’t judge! Plus if something happened to her, there would always be a replacement. Just saying... DON’T FRACKING JUDGE ME!

#4: Always Double-Tap zombies.

Sound advice from Zombieland! If you refuse to follow this rule, you have no one to blame but yourself when you become an undead chew toy.

But, make sure famous celebrities are actually minions of the underworld before you fuck them up. Unless you dislike them. Then have at it.

Also, fuck running zombies.

#5: Never feed a Mogwai after Midnight.

Personally, I feel you can get them wet to multiply them. I’d want an army of Mogwai. If one gets out of line? Throw the fucker in bright light (or a microwave) as an example to the rest of the Runt Brigade.

Feeding them, though? Oh hell no. Ugly bastards and I’ve no desire to try to save the world from an army of Gremlins.

#6: Avoid red shirts in space.

If you find yourself exploring the vast reaches of space, are on a reconnaissance mission, and you are wearing a red shirt... consider yourself fucked. That is all.

#7: Always bet on black.

Thanks Blade! Stay out of trouble, bro. Pay your taxes! The human race needs you to exterminate all the vampires!

#8: The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.


Who says TV and movies corrupt the mind?! They are nuts. There are obviously many very important life lessons to be learned and garnished from such forms of entertainment. Hopefully some of these lessons I’ve imparted to you enrich your lives in all manner of positive fashion.

*Please refrain from Dexter and BSG spoilers. I am behind on ALL the things :-(

Are you already familiar with any of the lessons above? Are you a fan of any of their origins?


(A Blog Every Day in May 2013 Challenge Entry)

Today's Prompt:

Day 22, Wednesday: Rant about something. Get up on your soapbox and tell us how you really feel. (a pet peeve, a current event, a controversial topic, something your husband or roommate or neighbor or boss does that really ticks you off)

I felt it would take too long to write about something I was extremely passionate about. Those posts are best left outside of a daily constraint, where I can take my time to flesh them out.

Instead I will just share a video I thought was funny (I like a handful of their videos), and leave my own rants for when I can devote some more time to them.

BEDiM 2013 : DAY 21

(A Blog Every Day in May 2013 Challenge Entry)

Today’s prompt:

Day 21, Tuesday: A list of links to your favorite posts in your archives

Hmm... I will have to take a glance to see what posts are officially “favorites”, but that would be based on view count, and I don’t believe view counts = fav/most popular. I could see which have the largest comment count, but again I don’t feel that would necessarily portray accurately either. Most commented posts would surely exist within the A to Z/BEDiM Challenges. Maybe I will add the little widget/gadget for the sidebar, anyhow, for shits and giggles.

I will give a listing of links from a variety of my older posts (there aren’t many of them) that I would like to share/revisit that I felt were important to me for varying reasons.

A Look Back

  1. An Intro: Because I always feel it’s best to start from the beginning.
  2. Pseudo Wars: An emotional piece spawned within the heart of NaNoWriMo.
  3. Into the Grey: My first “controvertial” piece that may sully one’s thoughts they have of me. I’d recommend the follow-up to that post as well.
  4. The Secret Truth of the Heart: Disclosing some very, very personal feelings/beliefs.
  5. The Bridge: Raw analysing of a “breakdown”.
  6. Idle Musings: A heartfelt discussion of the aftermath of The Bridge.
  7. Initiative: Just Act Kind: The post I skipped around for months, but finally got partially out during the A to Z Challenge. A post that I feel is very important to me (the post I mentioned I had planned in my The Secret Truth of the Heart post) that I wish to revisit and expand upon once I'm not doing daily challenges.

Unsure of how many I was supposed to list, but seven is my number, so seven it is. I would only post once (maybe twice) a week when starting out, and when I was looking at them I felt they all held a varying degree of importance.

If able to take the time to check them out that would be awesome, but if not I understand. I'm not the briefest of individuals.

For those not participating in the BEDiM Challenge (as I will likely happen upon your posts), do you have any favorite blog entries you’ve made over the months/years?

BEDiM 2013 : DAY 20

(A Blog Every Day in May 2013 Challenge Entry)

Doesn’t look like an easy out this time around.

Today’s prompt:

Day 20, Monday: Get real. Share something you're struggling with right now.

Technically, I suppose I could refer back to the multiple posts about self confidence or money, but I will attempt a different topic. Which to choose, which to choose. So many struggles and life issues.

The Long Way Home

While I usually hang out with my brothers on Monday, after hanging out with my grandmother, tonight I had to call the evening short. I was attempting to write my blog at my brother’s place, but all I got out was the above. Something was feeling off. It was stuffy, I was feeling excessively tired, and just the overall atmosphere wasn’t sitting well with me.

Don’t get me wrong, it was a fun time when arriving. My five year old niece had called me up asking when I’d be coming over, because we were going to grill. It was really cute, and I look forward to seeing both my nieces on Monday nights. They always ask me to watch their shows/movies with them and I feel bad when I turn them down. Whether to write, game with my brothers, or some other random reason. I need to focus more time with them when I visit.

Tonight I actually watched some of their shows with them, but soon after felt like I best hit the road. I was leaving a good four to five hours earlier than usual. The risks are already increased with me driving at night, but being this tired even more so. Best not push my luck. Especially with thunderstorms passing over again.

First I had to make a pit stop to my grandmother’s to pick up my watch and slap bracelet I left over there earlier in the afternoon. It was a quick hi and bye, and then I was back on the road again.

During this time of year they love doing a lot of road work, but luckily almost all of the construction being done is farther South than anywhere close to me. Except tonight it seems. On the way home, one of the major ramps I take looked to be closed off. I had already passed up familiar alternate routes, so I took the only exit available before my needed ramp.

I’ve always been curious of the road. That may sound odd, but I have used the exits before and after and am quite familiar with them. This exit, however, I’d never taken. It would be an adventure I figured. Find out where the heck the road led to. It was between two exits I’ve taken time and again, I would be able to find my way to one of those roads simple enough.

Wrong.

There was one road I thought I knew right off the bat, but I bypassed it thinking that the current direction I was going would do well enough to get my to my destination. Again, I was wrong. I eventually came to a “T” and what was that in front of me? A lake. Long Lake Road should have explained this all to me, but you know... whatever. Long Lake Road apparently turns into Valentine Lake Road. Fancy.

I knew going right would take me out of the way more so I chose left. Never mind that “Road Closed Ahead” sign off on the side of the road. It would be made more prominent if it were closed, right? Yeah, no. So I took a journey down this lake-side road, curious as to where it would bring me — secretly hoping to the main highway.

The area seemed rather nice. From what I could tell through the downpour in the dark. There was definitely some kind of development taking place; curious as to what. Then I saw the dreaded white and orange signs and barriers sprawled out across the road. Crap. By this point I’d already driven almost fifteen minutes in unknown territory. Now I’d have to backtrack. Thankfully, I only took a few turns.

So back I went. With the storm, and my car’s reliability being gravely uncertain, it felt like there was a good chance for some bad Stephen King mojo to go down. I’m not too keen on being lost in a storm driving a shitty car with barely any gas.

Once I came to the road I thought sounded familiar, I figured why not. I already drove to some random dead end, why not continue the adventure? So off I went. Eventually there were signs for the main highway, and for a brief moment I contemplated ignoring it. I felt pretty sure I knew where the current road lead.

As luck would have it I played it safe, and finally got back on the main highway. Good thing too, because I was apparently heading North instead of South. Destination: Home was in sight.

So my thirty minute trip was increased by an hour. It’s all good... at least this real struggle was able to be resolved tonight. Could have been worse. I could have had my car breakdown in the middle of who knows where.

Have you ever taken a route you’ve never been on before and gotten lost? Any current real life struggles you are battling?